Wake up. Let’s go shopping. Open the curtains let some light in here. Pay your bills. Clean the house. Wash the dishes. What’s for dinner? What’s wrong with you? I haven’t seen you in weeks. Are you ok you don’t look so good? Are you going to take a shower, comb your hair, or change your clothes? All things I’ve heard from those that love me and some who don’t.
Often times I feel as if I am just seen and never heard. The endless days of crying, feeling like the world is against me, or that I am just simply not loved or that I deserve to be loved. There have been times in my life where I spent days or even months feeling like shit. I have been afraid that I will never be able to break free from the black hole of depression. It feels like my mind, my heart and every slice of energy that I have ever had is being snatched from me.
Depression is an ugly monster. There is no scheduled time for its visit or when it will leave. It usually comes right before the biggest day of your life or the saddest. Sorry I lied depression comes whenever the hell it feels like it and stays as long as it wants. Understand no matter how many people tell you to lighten up, to get yourself together, or that you will be alright, unless they have been there they will never know the silent hell you are in.
To all those who are fighting this ugly disease I encourage you to never give up on you and I will try to do the same!